Bereavement and Loss – Part 5 of 7

In this section I will explore some of the ways that people can be supported through their grief.

GPs have traditionally often prescribed medication such as antidepressants though they are now more aware of the benefits of providing the person with the opportunity to talk to someone who understands.  They might therefore prescribe a course of Grief Counselling.  People might also be encouraged to make sure they get enough exercise, spend some time out of doors in the fresh air and natural light, and also to eat properly and try to get sufficient sleep.

Our animal companions can also suffer from grief following the loss of a guardian or animal friend which can lead to behavioural changes such as being withdrawn, depressed or refusing to eat.  They too need exercise, a healthy diet and time outdoors.

There are various complementary therapies that can support both people and animals in times of loss.  I personally offer Reiki and EFT:

Reiki / Healing can be very beneficial, not only after the person or animal has died but also, in the case of illness, as a support before and even at the death itself.  The healer needs to be clear that healing does not necessarily mean that a person or animal will be ‘cured’.  In fact death can be the ultimate healing, because the person or animal has been ‘released’ to move on.  The person left behind might not be ready to see things in these terms, but they can be supported to seek healing for their animal / friend / family member and themselves to give them a sense of peace, acceptance and love.

After the death the healer can give the person whatever time and space they need to explore their feelings in a safe and non-judgemental environment.  This can also be an opportunity for them to explore their beliefs around death and what happens beyond this.  Death can be seen as a natural part of the Cycle of Life.  It is not something to be feared or avoided and does not even have to be seen as the End – it is more of a transition.  Of course the person or animal is no longer here in the same form and we might be sad that we cannot interact with them in the same way but we be happy for them that they are no longer suffering and in time can reach a point where we can celebrate and remember fondly all the wonderful times we shared and be grateful for their presence in our lives.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT, sometimes known as ‘tapping’) is a great support when dealing with painful emotions.  Using Chinese Meridian lines – the same ones that are used in acupuncture, but without any needles – EFT works to diffuse emotional intensity meaning that it is no longer overwhelming.  This allows the person to be able to think clearly again and to regain a sense of perspective and balance.

In Part 6 I will look at another complementary therapy that can be a very effective support in times of loss.

If you are currently experiencing any of these issues and would like to talk, please feel free to get in touch.  There will be no obligation to make a booking, it’s just an opportunity for you to ask any questions you might have and to see if what I offer might be a good fit for you.  My contact details are:

robyn@equenergy.com

07980 669303

If you would like to take a look at my website, you can find it at:

www.equenergy.com/

 

You can read the whole of this article here

 

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Bereavement and Loss – Part 4 of 7

In this section I will explore each stage of Dr Kübler-Ross’s ‘Grief Cycle’ in a little more depth.

Denial – Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It’s a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely.

Anger – Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset.

Bargaining – Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example “Can we still be friends?..” when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it’s a matter of life or death.

Depression – Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it’s the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the ‘aftermath’ although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It’s a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It’s natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality.

Acceptance – Again this stage definitely varies according to the person’s situation, although broadly it is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must necessarily pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

In Part 5 I will explore some of the ways that people can be supported through their grief.

If you are currently experiencing any of these issues and would like to talk, please feel free to get in touch.  There will be no obligation to make a booking, it’s just an opportunity for you to ask any questions you might have and to see if what I offer might be a good fit for you.  My contact details are:

robyn@equenergy.com

07980 669303

If you would like to take a look at my website, you can find it at:

www.equenergy.com/

 

You can read the whole of this article here

 

Bereavement and Loss – Part 2 of 7

 

 In this section I will explore the feelings that we can experience following the loss of a person or thing that is close to us.  It often results in a sense of grief or bereavement.  This is a very natural response when something to which we are attached, disappears from our lives.  We often associate this feeling with the death of a loved one but it can also be experienced at other times, for example divorce, the loss of a job, or having to move away from a place that is familiar to you.   Some types of loss can be particularly difficult to cope with as they are often seen as less important in our society, for example miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a beloved animal.  People might not understand the depth of feeling that the sufferer is experiencing and will sometimes tell them to ‘pull themselves together’ and ‘move on’.

Loss can also be felt about an event which is anticipated but has not yet happened, for example children growing up and leaving home, the ageing process, or when a person or animal is given a terminal diagnosis and they and their family try to come to terms with the fact that they will probably die sooner than they had expected to.

Everyone’s experience of grief is highly personal and is based upon their unique perception of the situation (Shapiro, 1993).  Events trigger different reactions in different people and our responses to trauma and emotional shock can vary hugely.  They can also depend on our past experiences, beliefs and values.  In addition they can be influenced by the other things going on in our lives at the time which can result in us feeling particularly vulnerable or sensitive.  However there are a range of common emotions that people experience.  These include feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, helplessness, shock, yearning, emancipation, relief and numbness.

People can also experience a range of physical sensations such as tightness in the chest and throat, hollowness in the stomach and breathlessness.  Thought patterns can be affected too, resulting in disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, hallucinations and a sense of the presence of the lost person or object.  These might then lead to a range of behaviours including lack of sleeping, appetite disturbances, absentmindedness, social withdrawal, dreams of the deceased, avoiding reminders of the deceased, searching, calling out, sighing, restless overactivity, crying, visiting places or carrying objects that remind the survivor of the deceased and treasuring objects that belonged to the deceased (Worden, 2005; Geldard & Geldard, 2001; Bowlby 1980).

If you are currently experiencing any of these issues and would like to talk, please feel free to get in touch.  There will be no obligation to make a booking, it’s just an opportunity for you to ask any questions you might have and to see if what I offer might be a good fit for you.  My contact details are:

robyn@equenergy.com

07980 669303

If you would like to take a look at my website, you can find it at:

www.equenergy.com/

 

You can read the whole of this article here

A META-Health example – sinusitis (part 2)

Last week I described a ‘stinking’ situation where I was felt intense jealousy.  For me this was unexpected, dramatic, isolating and I had no coping strategy (a UDIN or Trauma Conflict (2).  This put me into stress (3) resulting in a decrease in my sense of smell.  How did this go on to become sinusitis?

I recognised that this jealousy was a response coming from fear and a sense of ‘lack’ within me, rather than that the other person didn’t deserve their good fortune.  I knew that it was time for me to ‘walk my talk’ and so I did some energy work around what I was feeling and was able to shift my perspective to one of being able to celebrate the other person’s success.  I was also able to feel gratitude that we live in an abundant Universe, meaning that this person’s success does not mean that I have lost out.  On the contrary, it proves that what I am aiming for is possible.

This shift (4) allowed me to move into the regeneration phase (5,6 & 7) where my body needed to undo the changes it had made in the stress phase.  In the ‘exudative’ phase (5) it needed to clear out all the old cells that had been discarded to reduce my sense of smell.  My symptoms were pain in my sinuses due to an intense swelling and ulceration of the mucosa, along with a runny nose.  In my case the issue also related to my sense of ‘territory’ and so my Kidney Collecting Tubules were also affected, creating a ‘syndrome’ and resulting in sinusitis.

The Healing Peak (6) for this was sneezing which was then followed by the ‘restitutive’ (7) phase when the ulcers heal and the body returns to balance and good health (8).

If you would like to know more about how META-Health could help you find the root cause behind a dis-ease so that this can then be cleared allowing the body to return to better health, please contact me:

email:              robyn@equenergy.com

mobile:           07980 669303

Skype:             by appointment only to ensure that I am in the office and available to take your call.  Please contact me to arrange a date and time

 

(You can read the full article here)

A META-Health example – sinusitis (part 1)

As a further example of using META-Health to understand what’s going on in the body, I’ll share with you another personal story.

I recently experienced an episode of sinusitis and it didn’t take me long to get to the bottom of what was going on!  My inner dialogue and vocabulary gave it away immediately, but I will start by looking at the tissue involved and working from there.

In this example, the relevant tissue is the sinus mucosa, the mucus secreting cells lining my sinuses.  The brain relay for this tissue is the cerebral cortex so the themes are smelling (social), evaluation, recognition, or a “stinking” conflict.

The emotions behind issues here are around uncertainty or disgust, with thoughts such as:

  • This stinks.
  • I can’t bear to smell this situation anymore.
  • Something is getting strongly on my nerves.

The META-meaning is therefore:

  • My nose provides me with all the air and information I need.
  • When I don’t like what I smell, I can change it or create a distance.

I realised that I had been feeling jealous of someone and part of me was saying, “This isn’t fair – it stinks“.  This was my UDIN – a situation which for me was:

  • Unexpected
  • Dramatic
  • Isolating
  • and I had No Coping Strategy

which pushed me into the stress phase.  Here my body didn’t want to face (smell) the (stinking) situation and so it started to reduce the cells in my sinuses so that this sense would be less effective.

At this point I didn’t have any symptoms of ill health.  My sense of smell would have been reduced but I was barely aware of it.

In next week’s post, I’ll look at why I started to get symptoms and how my body then went on to get well.

If you would like to know more about how META-Health could help you find the root cause behind a dis-ease so that this can then be cleared allowing the body to return to better health, please contact me:

email:              robyn@equenergy.com

mobile:           07980 669303

Skype:             by appointment only to ensure that I am in the office and available to take your call.  Please contact me to arrange a  date and time

 

(You can read the full article here)

What is ‘META-Health’ and how can it help me get well? (Part 5)

So, having looked at the process of META-Health, and a personal example from my own life, how can this help you in your healing journey?

My first step in working with a client is to ask for their ‘timeline’.  This is basically a chronological account of all the Significant Emotional Events in their life.  I personally like people to write this covering all the way from birth onwards as it can help me to detect repeating patterns and get a sense of the person, but in any case the timeline should go back to at least 3 years before symptoms appear.  I also need to know the person’s medical diagnosis, if they have one, and a list of any medications they’re taking, or have taken, for the issue.  It is also useful to know if they’ve tried other interventions and how helpful – or not – these were.

Once I know which tissue is affected I can work out which brain relay this relates to.  From this I can tell which stage they are at in the healing process:

It is then possible to work back to find the initial conflict (2).

Writing the timeline in itself can be very healing.  As one client said to me, it was amazing to put her life story down on paper and see it all in one place for the first time.  This was a kind of affirmation for her that she had, in fact, dealt with a lot in her life and that she was actually stronger than she had realised.  It can also be a very cathartic process to put down, in black and white, things that you might have been bottling up inside, or trying to push to the back of your mind.  This process helps you to look at things and to acknowledge them so that you can then start to process them in order to let go and to move on.

I often get the feeling that, in our society, we are encouraged to ‘move on’ before we’re ready.  As I said earlier, trauma is subjective, so other people might not appreciate the impact that an event has had on a person.  They might, with the best of intentions, want to encourage the person to ‘put it all behind them’ or to ‘think positively’ but this is not possible until the person has finished processing what happened.  Or perhaps it’s our own inner voice that is encouraging us to push everything under the carpet and carry on as if nothing has happened.  However, if we don’t listen to our inner needs, they will just start to get louder in order to be heard!

META-Health teaches great self compassion and understanding.  We can truly begin to see that we are doing the best we can with the resources available to us in a given situation.  Also, our bodies don’t make mistakes.  If we’re experiencing symptoms or discomfort, it’s just our body trying to let us know that something isn’t right, but if we listen and make some changes – meet the needs that are currently unmet – then the body will find its way back to balance and wellbeing again.

So, having identified the trauma, or ‘UDIN’, what next?  As part of a consultation I will look at all the layers of a the client’s life: physical, emotional, social and spiritual.  I will also consider their characteristics: do they tend to be primarily a visual, auditory or kinaesthetic person, for example.  Taking these things into consideration I then put together a suggested plan of action, to discuss with the client, to help them create the healthier, happier life they dream of.

This plan can draw on a range of different therapies depending on what is most appropriate for the person in their particular situation.  I personally offer a variety of energy therapies including Reiki / Energy Healing, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT / sometimes referred to as ‘tapping’) along with some nutrition, lifestyle and relaxation techniques and tips.  I am very happy to offer these as part of a client’s action plan and for them to continue to work with me if they choose.

In addition I have a wide network of colleagues offering other complementary holistic therapies that we can draw upon to create a full and rounded wellbeing package.

The steps to be taken and the time required to create a new and healthier life will depend on the person, their condition, the circumstances in which they find themselves and their level of commitment, however it doesn’t need to be ‘hard work’ and the journey is in itself something to enjoy and to learn from.  It is worth remembering that it has taken time for your body to get into dis-ease and it will take time to get back to wellbeing but at each step along the way you will see an improvement.  This process can also result in lasting change and a whole new perspective, helping you to better deal with any issues that you face in the future.

If you’d like to talk with me about anything I’ve mentioned above, please get in touch:

robyn@equenergy.com

07980 669303

Alternatively you can see more about what I do on my website: www.equenergy.com

 

(This post was taken from my article on META-Health.  You can read the full text here)

What is ‘META-Health’ and how can it help me get well? (Part 4)

Previously I talked about my personal experience of how a trauma created digestive dis-ease in the form of IBS and food intolerances.

Another common feature with fears around survival are that the body retains water.  Its reasoning is that alone it is more difficult to find this life-sustaining resource and so it must hold on to as much as it can until it is reunited with the tribe.  When the body again feels it is safe it can release the water.  At its peak (6) this is often experienced as a migraine, and this is what happened for me.  It can also mean that you pee more than normal as your body pushes out the excess water.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was repeatedly being retriggered as contact with my Dad did not go smoothly and it often pushed me straight back into stress.  This is what is known as a ‘hanging healing’, where the body repeatedly cycles through the process, unable to break out of the pattern and complete the journey through regeneration and normalisation to wellbeing.

This pattern continued for many years for me, even after my Dad’s death, because by then other traumas had added their triggers and, as a consequence, my wellbeing suffered considerably.  In fact this is one of the factors that lead me to explore complementary therapies and ways that I could address the underlying cause of my dis-ease rather than just taking pills, which might help in the short term but never fully got rid of the problem.

Having studied META-Health I now have a greater understanding of what’s going on in my body and what my symptoms are telling me.  If I know which tissue is involved this tells me which brain relay has been triggered and therefore what the deeper issue is that I need to address.  For example, in my story above, I needed to let go of my fears for my survival and know that my needs would be met by those around me until I was an adult and able to fully care and provide for myself.

I now also know that any symptoms I experience will indicate where I am in the process so that I can know how best to work towards my recovery.

Through my energy work practice and creating a diet that is more appropriate for my needs, I have now been able to support my body to become healthier than it’s ever been.

In the next blog I will look at how the META-Health process can be used to help identify the root cause of any disease so that it can be addressed directly in order to clear it and allow the body to return to health and wellbeing.

If you’d like to talk with me about anything I’ve mentioned above, please get in touch:

robyn@equenergy.com

07980 669303

Alternatively you can see more about what I do on my website: www.equenergy.com

 

(This post was taken from my article on META-Health.  You can read the full text here)