Whatever You’re Feeling Right Now, it’s OK (part 1)

I wanted to share some further thoughts, and my learnings, from this current situation, in the hope that it might offer encouragement and some useful ideas and tips.

Bearing in mind that we’re in information overload at the moment, I’ll keep the posts short and hopefully easy to read.

When the Coronavirus lockdown started, it initially prompted me to reach out to offer support to anyone who might be suffering anxiety in these strange and unsettling times.  Having been in that dark place of uncertainty myself, it’s my passion to hold space for others who are going through the same experience.

But then I received 2 pieces of news which knocked me off balance and I realised that the situation was affecting me more deeply than I had allowed myself to admit.

I therefore took a few days to go within and rest; to face the ‘dark and messy’ side of my emotions.  I’d pushed this aside at first, making other people’s needs a priority, but I came to realise that this was actually me slipping into ‘helper’ mode, as this felt easier than facing my own feelings.  However, this is not a sustainable way of being. 

** I needed to hold space for myself before I could hold it fully for another.

** I needed to address my own pain before I could be fully present for another to explore theirs.

I’ve written about this before, and so I ‘should’* know better ( 😉 ) but these are exceptional times, bringing new and unexpected challenges, so it’s easy to get caught unawares.

The silver lining is that it triggered me and pushed old buttons which, having been brought to the forefront of my awareness, I’m better able to explore, and delve into the underlying issues, taking steps to support myself in learning and practicing living by my phrase of the year: #JustBe.

What I would like to share from this experience is this:

  • Wherever you are right now, and whatever your response to what’s going on around you, it’s ok!
  • Our response to a situation is as individual and unique as we are.
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  • Our feelings are not good or bad, right or wrong*. They just are
  • Be gentle with yourself.  If you’re struggling, take some time out.  Rest and give yourself whatever time and space you need.
  • It’s ok to use this ‘pause’ as a time for self-care.  You could try things like:
    • reading a book you’ve been wanting to read for ages
    • watching uplifting movies / TV programmes
    • cooking from scratch
    • cuddling with your pet(s)
    • spending some time each day in the fresh air – even if this just means opening your window
    • taking time out from the news and media
    • learning a new skill, or going back to an old one
    • doing some Spring cleaning
    • moving your body – walking / yoga / stretching – any gentle exercise to keep you active and shift your energy

Tomorrow I’ll share some further thoughts, and in the meantime, if you have any comments, please post below, or feel free to contact me:

  • robyn@equenergy.com
  • 07980 669303

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*Another important form of self-care is to pay attention to our self-talk.  We are often our own worst critic and regularly speak to ourselves in ways that are not supportive.  This includes using words like ‘but’, ‘either … or’ ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘need to’ and ‘ought to’.  They send us a message of restriction, expectation and lack.  Instead we can look at ways to use more uplifting words such as ‘and’, ‘choose to’ and ‘love to’.

Why the pandemic of fear is at least as worrying as Coronavirus itself (part 4)

Having looked at the impact that fear can have on our wellbeing, I’d like to encourage you to do all you can to address any feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, or panic around Coronavirus and its potential impact on your health, finances, businesses, travel, etc or on that of those close to you.  There are many things that you can try, such as Yoga, breathing exercises, EFT (tapping), guided meditation, or mindfulness.  You can find lots of resources online for these and I’ll be sharing some suggestions on my Facebook page.  Another great practice is spending time outdoors in Nature.  All of these can be done by yourself, or while keeping your distance from others in order to reduce the risk of contact and spreading infection. 

I also invite you to explore ways to connect with others, as this is essential for our wellbeing.  Now that I’m working from home more, and most of my face-to-face bookings are being cancelled, creating space in my diary, I’m offering people the chance to enjoy a ‘virtual coffee’ together, either via voice or video call.

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If you would like to book in for a formal 1:1 wellbeing session with me, I’m very happy to work online.   (You can see more about me and my work on my website: equenergy.com )

I’m also happy to offer my workshops across Skype or Zoom.  Two in particular might be of interest at the moment:

  • Feel Your Way from Stress into Flow, which shares tips and techniques for dealing with stress, and getting out of your headspace in order to be more grounded and centred, allowing you to make choices that are in greater alignment with the things that are important to you.
  • Beingfulness, which has evolved from mindfulness and looks at how we can better support our balance and holistic wellbeing of Mind, Body and Spirit

(I’m happy to offer both of these to individuals, and at a time to suit you.)

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In addition, it’s good to focus on the opportunities that this situation offers:

  • time to engage in self-care
  • time to catch up with things that often get put on hold, due to our busy lifestyles, eg housework or gardening, spending time with others, either those we live with, or -virtually – with others
  • time to pause, breathe and engage in a slower pace of life
  • time to read / study
  • to learn new ways of operating
  • to see the positive impact on pollution and how the Earth can respond so quickly to this change
https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/images/146362/airborne-nitrogen-dioxide-plummets-over-china

For an alternative perspective on the virus from that in the media, check out this wonderful blog from a colleague of mine, Deborah Wiggins-Hay:

Time To Breathe: Potential Gifts from the Coronavirus

So, please look after yourself and do all you can to keep your sense of balance, and if you’d like to connect, or have any questions, just get in touch:

Why the pandemic of fear is at least as worrying as Coronavirus itself (part 3)

The META Conscious™ perspective on the symptoms of Covid-19 would be to consider the following:

Our bodies seek to be in harmony with the environment around them.  They actually function in synergy with bacteria, viruses and fungi, using them to support this wellbeing process. (If you’d like to know more about this, check out the book 10% Human)  For example, bacteria can help by breaking down excessive cell growth.  They can also help with the creation of scar tissue and supporting healing growth in bone.

Dr Vonderplantiz explained the role of viruses as follows:

“Viruses are not alive. They have no respiratory system or nucleus.
They are protein bodies that act like solvents.  They dissolve dead tissue.
It’s like calling a soap alive.
Viruses are like soap… they are solvents.  They exist to dissolve tissue.
Each element of the intercellular tissue has a different type of virus that is specific to dissolve that tissue when it is in trouble.  If you had one virus to dissolve everything you would have complete dissolution and death.
Viruses will not activate and dissolve healthy cells.  The only dissolve diseased and contaminated tissue.
Cells make the virus just like we make the soap.  To clean us internally.”

https://www.themindbodydetective.com/post/time-to-breathe-potential-gifts-from-corona-virus?fbclid=IwAR3D24YP7n66sqXuQ_a-9rb5Y7DMqnu4-hJSFPf9k6Dlp39GTyu0Sa_DwBU

I believe that the situation in which we find ourselves is not a reason to panic.  On the contrary it’s an invitation to:

  • develop a deeper understanding of how our bodies work and how to better support our wellbeing – physical, mental and spiritual
  • review the things that are important to us and how we can live in alignment with these values
  • be aware and conscious in our beliefs, choices and actions
  • stay curious, open and mindful
  • explore where and how we can make choices based more on love and less on fear
  • connect with others in new and more meaningful ways
  • find ways to support the wellbeing of our environment and the planet as a whole.

In tomorrow’s post, the final one in this series, I’ll be looking at ways in which we can support ourselves, both physically and emotionally, and also some opportunities that this time is offering us.

Again, if you have any questions, or you’re feeling isolated / anxious and would like someone to talk to, please get in touch:

  • robyn@equenergy.com
  • 07980 669303

Why the pandemic of fear is at least as worrying as Coronavirus itself (part 2)

The impact of coronavirus is therefore much more than just the possibility of catching it, and we need to remember that in most cases the symptoms are not life threatening. In fact, fear is much more contagious, as has been shown by the widespread media coverage and the empty supermarket shelves.

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I believe that the body doesn’t make mistakes, it makes the adaptations it believes it needs to make in order to feel ‘safe’.  Dis-ease is therefore not a mistake.  It’s actually part of the wellbeing process – it’s how our body either signals to us that something isn’t in balance, or how it works to move back towards that balance.

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In the Stress Phase the body is in ‘fight or flight’ and it is making the adaptations it believes it needs to make in order to survive.  These adaptations will depend on our belief system and our perception of the threat.  This is very subjective and unique to the individual, though there may be common themes that we share with others in our group, society or culture.  We need to remember that we are basically animals and that the body is quite metaphorical in its interpretation of the world around us. 

A – simplified – example might be that if we experience a stress / conflict that we feel is ‘shitty’ it will affect our intestines; and if we feel that it ‘stinks’, it will impact on our sinuses.  The cells in these tissues would increase during the Stress Phase, in order to try and deal with the issue.  When we enter the Regeneration / Restoration Phase, the body seeks to get back to balance, and so clears out the excess cells that are no longer required.  The trigger for this is when the stress / conflict is resolved, or if there is a shift of some kind.  This can result in diarrhoea and a stuffy nose respectively.

In part 3 I’ll be looking at the Meta-perspective on Corvid-19 and the role of viruses in the wellbeing process.

Why the pandemic of fear is at least as worrying as Coronavirus itself (part 1)

You might have noticed that I’m posting this blog series ‘early’ – I normally post on the first weekend of the month – but I felt it was important to make a response to the current situation – one that focuses on wellbeing – in this time of uncertainty. I will be sharing the article in ‘bite-sized’ chunks, but if you’d like to read it in its entirety, please click here.

The implications of Coronavirus are starting to hit home, and for me this means that face-to-face bookings are being cancelled or replaced by online working. As a self-employed person, I completely understand how this can trigger fears and leave us feeling like the rug is being pulled out from under our feet! So what can we do as anxiety threatens to take a hold and we feel at risk of being caught up in the rising tide of panic?

Let me start by saying that I’m not in any way meaning to make light of Coronavirus, the many cases of people suffering with Covid-19, or the deaths around the world.  It’s obviously a very real and present challenge that we’re all facing and it’s good to be aware, and conscious in our responses.  But therein lies the issue: I don’t think our current reactions are being fully aware and conscious.  Those that I’m seeing are mostly coming from fear.  Fear can push us into ‘blind panic’ where our field of vision literally shrinks, and we see through a filter that’s looking only for threats.  This is a natural response, which is aimed at keeping us safe from danger.  It worked well when we lived in caves and the threats were physical things, like a predator or lack of safe shelter, however it often doesn’t serve us so well in our modern world.

Being in this state of ‘fight or flight’ is very stressful on the body.  It causes chemical changes in our cells which can be toxic over time, impacting on our immune system and making us more prone to disease.  Even if we don’t think that we’re stressed, these chemicals can be building up in our body.  As Dr Gabor Maté says in his book ‘When The Body Says No’:

“Stress is a psychological response to a perceived treat, physical or emotional, whether or not the individual is immediately aware of the perception.”

Our response to the Coronavirus threat has been to withdraw from contact from others, to wash our hands repeatedly, to use sanitiser gel regularly and to stockpile food and other items.  Wow!  This list is beginning to sound like a case of OCD and hoarding!

By all means, take reasonable precautions with hygiene, but please also be aware that overuse of these chemicals can result in bugs that are resistant.  Remember, too, that the chemicals have an impact on our bodies, as well as on the bugs, as all chemicals do.  It’s also worth noting that living in an overly ‘sterile’ environment is not good for our immune system: https://www.naava.io/editorial/a-too-sterile-environment-is-harmful-for-your-immune-system/

In addition, did you know that it’s now thought that social isolation may bring greater health risks than smoking or obesity?! ( https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/01/18/loneliness-might-be-a-bigger-health-risk-than-smoking-or-obesity/#2517273f25d1 )

Tomorrow I’ll be looking at a different perspective on dis-ease, and looking at how the body responds to stress.

In the meantime, if you have any questions, or if your anxiety is being triggered and you’d like someone to talk to, please get in touch:

  • robyn@equenergy.com
  • 07980 669303

Why self-care is actually a very generous way to share!

Is it just me, or does this winter seem to be dragging on for a particularly long time?  It’s been wonderful to see the days getting longer – I’ve been very grateful for those extra few minutes of daylight when I go to see the horses in the morning and evening – but the stormy weather seems to have plunged us back into grey skies and gloomy days.

Here in the UK we’ve been battered by a series of storms, one after the other, that have really taken their toll.  Flooding, fallen trees, road closures, and travel chaos.  Many people have had to leave their homes as the water has taken over, and now they can only wait to see what damage has been done and when they might be able to get back to some sort of normality.

It’s been challenging to see how our beautiful Earth appears so out of balance.  One half is overwhelmed and flooded, the other is experiencing burnout.  I was intrigued when I noticed that these words could be applied in a physical sense, but also can be used to describe emotional states…

When looking at things from this perspective, I was struck by how this is a reflection of what many people are feeling.  Overwhelm and burnout often seem to be the dis-ease of our time.

Looking at storms outside can also bring up our own feelings of anxiety and insecurity, leaving us feeling on edge, emotional and run-down.  We can find ourselves lying in bed at night listening to the wind howling, unable to sleep for worries about what damage we’ll find in the morning.

So, what can we do? 

I believe that self-care is essential, particularly at times like this.  It’s no coincidence that when the days are dark and storms are raging, we long to find a nice cosy corner to just curl up and hibernate!  Rest is so important.  It gives us the time and space we need to process, and also for our bodies to enter a state of ‘rest and repair’, allowing us to recharge and refresh ourselves, ready to emerge fit and energised in the Spring.

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It’s still good to spend at least some time outside on a regular basis.  Since moving to Wales, I have a much more outdoors lifestyle, working in the fields with the horses, surrounded by all the trees, hedges and creatures of this space.  I’ve realised that it’s made a big difference to how I feel.  I’m fitter and less affected by the shortness of the winter days.  Short spells of being out in the wind, and even the rain, can be invigorating!  This can quickly turn to draining and exhausting though, particularly when trying to battle against the elements and through deep mud – a fantastic metaphor for life in there I’m sure! – which brings me round again to the importance of rest.

Making sure that we’re eating well, is another great support to our wellbeing.  Including fresh vegetables and/or fruit at every meal, in a wide variety of colours, helps to ensure that we’re getting a wide range of vitamins and minerals to support our immune system and keep us healthy.

If you would like some further tips on self-care and creating a life of greater peace and harmony, please click here to receive my free guide and a short series of email prompts to get you started.  (You will be able to unsubscribe at any time if you no longer wish to receive these posts.)

Going back to thinking about the balance – or lack of it – that the Earth is experiencing at this time, how can we as individuals hope to make the slightest bit of difference?

Actually, I believe that we have much more power than we think, or than we give ourselves credit for.

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In fact, there’s a famous quote from Marianne Williamson:

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It’s about understanding that the only thing we can change is ourselves, but that in doing this we send out ripples that impact on those around us, which can spread far and wide.

I once watched a programme in which Professor Brian Cox said that if we rub our hands together, this changes the charge on the electrons on the surface of our skin, and in fact then changes every single electron in the Universe as “no two electrons in an atom can be at the same time in the same state or configuration”.  This is known as the Pauli exclusion principle.

This is all a bit scientific for me, but basically I take it as an affirmation that if I change my energy, the energy of everything around me has to readjust.

This is why I believe that self-care is actually a very generous way to share!

We are all connected: to each other, to Nature and to the Earth itself.  When I am calm and feeling at ease, others around me will sense this and start to come in line with this feeling.  If I am tense and anxious, they will pick up on this too, and start to feel fidgety.

Therefore, when I care for myself, looking after my needs, releasing stress, and coming to a place of greater balance and inner harmony, I share this with those around me.  And the ripples continue to spread, further and further out.

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This sounds simple, and in many ways it is, but it’s not always easy for us.  We often carry beliefs that can hold us stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour.  When we’ve felt overwhelmed, facing a situation for which we’ve had no coping strategy in that moment, we can fall into coping mechanisms which might get us out of that tricky situation, but which often prove to be unsupportive in the longer term. That’s perfectly normal but it means that it’s a good idea to regularly check in with ourselves to see where things are going well, or where we’re experiencing stress and discomfort, indicating that something isn’t serving us.

This is where reaching out for help can be so valuable.  Sometimes we need someone to hold a safe space for us, where we can explore our beliefs and see how they could be adjusted in order to be more aligned with Who We Really Are, that is, our amazing, unique expression of Love.  A non-judgemental, objective and supporting hand can assist us greatly in this.

As we enter March now, and – hopefully – the beginnings of Spring, I wish you a fresh new start, with renewed energy and vitality for whatever new adventures lie ahead.

If you have any questions, or comments, I’d love to hear from you!  Please either post below, or contact me on:

Keeping your Balance

Balance can be such a fragile thing, can’t it? Even when we think we’re pretty solid and stable, it can take a fairly ‘small’ thing to unsettle us, knock our confidence and sense of security, and leave us questioning where we are, what we’re doing and where we’re going.

On the morning of 20 November 2019 Tim, my husband, came in and woke me, saying: “We’ve been robbed!”

He’d been getting ready to leave for work when he found that one of the sheds had been crow-barred open and many of his precious belongings had been stolen. As he investigated further it became apparent that they’d taken much more than we originally realised, including bicycles and tools.

This has come as a hard blow, following a year of challenges since moving to Wales. It feels doubly unfair that most of the things that were taken were Tim’s, and many of them were part of his sense of who he is.

The blow was also very unexpected. Just a couple of days before this, we’d had a rare day off together, going to the cinema and enjoying a lovely sunny walk on the Blorenge – a chance to appreciate, and see more of, where we now live.

Then suddenly it felt that our secure and stable world had been shaken to the core.

Of course, viewed another way, only things were taken or damaged. The house wasn’t affected and Tim, the horses, the cat and I are all safe. It has been another big financial blow, it’s true, and some of the things that were taken are irreplaceable, but we are physically unhurt.

The most difficult aspect to process is the psychological and emotional one. For Tim it’s been about the security of our property, the loss of what all the items represented for him, and the cumulative effect of all the energy that he’s invested in making this our home.

For me, it’s the upset that it has brought for Tim, worrying about how stressed and unhappy this has left him, plus the feelings of guilt that it has triggered in me, as it was me who wanted to move from our previous home.

I recognise, too, that the guilt I’m feeling is more than just from this one incident. It’s an old and longstanding feeling that I’ve carried – and added to – over many years. It started back in my childhood, so is deeply ingrained and even feels ‘normal‘ to me, in that I don’t really know what it would be like to live without its presence in my life.

You might remember that I’ve written about guilt before, showing that I’ve had plenty of opportunity to give this some serious thought. And it’s still a work in progress for me.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you might also know that I like to look at situations, even – or possibly particularly – the challenging ones, as opportunities; that is, opportunities to explore what they bring up for me and through this to identify beliefs that are / aren’t serving me, in order to choose the things that support me and my wellbeing, and release the things that don’t.

From this experience I’ve come to see that my sense of balance isn’t a static thing; it’s an active, dynamic and ‘living’ one, a process that is ongoing and shifting depending on the circumstances around me. My challenge, I think, is to practice keeping the process a more conscious one, so that I can be responsive rather than reactive to whatever situation I find myself in.

Here, it’s been a matter of balancing my needs, my sense of security and my feelings of guilt in the face of the burglary.

I’ve also been exploring the concept of balancing my needs with Tim’s. As with every relationship – romantic or otherwise – this, too, is an ongoing process, and one that helps us to get clear on our boundaries and sense of self in the shared space with the ‘other’.

This brings me back to my values of seeking to live with authenticity, integrity and congruence (see more about these in an earlier post). How can I best maintain and express these, even when feeling threatened, shaken, and drained of energy?

It’s been an interesting chapter, and certainly not one I ever want to repeat – nor one that I would wish on anyone – but when these things happen, I find that, for me, it’s often about trying to get through as best I can and looking for those inner resources to keep me from ‘giving up or giving in’.

One lovely thing to come out of the whole episode has been the kindness, good wishes and offers of support that have come from so many people! At a time when it’s been tempting to become cynical, hard and suspicious of others, it’s so good to be reminded that the vast majority of people are caring, warm and helpful and that the world is still a safe and beautiful place in which to live.

What tools / practices have you found helpful when your sense of balance has been shaken? I’d love to hear from you and I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below. Thank you 🙂

(Images courtesy of Canva – other than the photo of our house)